How I Work

Culture...

For starters, I embrace a Feminist approach. That means  I try to create a collaborative relationship of equals. It also means we are both cognizant of the systems -- familial and cultural -- of which you are a part. We notice the influence that these have had on your life and self-concept. I also do my best to acknowledge the systems that influence me. I feel extraordinarily privileged to have worked with a great diversity of people, exploring  the effect our cultures and families have on each one. Within a context of mutual respect, I provide you with information and support to help you move forward.

The Mind...

One important thing we might do is address the kinds of thoughts that your brain regularly and automatically generates. You might begin to notice that you sometimes find yourself thinking (barely consciously), "They don't really like me" or, "I'm not good at this" or other negative thoughts. Drawing on Cognitive Psychology, mindfulness meditation and other awareness techniques/practices, we can practice greater awareness of those thoughts and begin to question the truth of them. A mind that is always busy, that judges you harshly, that re-hashes past events or creates fear about the future really can be quieted down and re-trained. I'll help you learn to observe your thinking brain, because when you do, new choices become obvious to you, and you can regain your confidence and balance.

We might also look at what's behind these thoughts you have. They came from somewhere. Sometimes it proves useful to "unpack" beliefs we've come by that don't serve us. That may involve delving into the past in order to understand how you came by these beliefs or where you picked up unhelpful patterns of thought. This often makes it easier to let them go or replace them with the ones you choose to have.

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...And the heart

 At the same time that we're working with your thoughts, we're enlisting the body to help with focusing on your present experience. You might touch into and release stored emotions; you might come into contact with subconscious motivations. It is my intention to help you to find a source of deeper wisdom in your undefended, present, embodied self. I see the healthy person as one who is in touch with their thoughts, feelings and physical sensations -- all three, and who manages them, rather than being managed by them.

Being in touch with your body -- the feelings and wisdom there -- can do so much good for your personal well-being, and ripple out into relationships with the family you come from, ones you may have created with lovers, co-workers,  friendships and others. You can become more confident and open-hearted.

There is so much more I could say about what informs my work. I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about how all this (and more) applies to YOU and your current needs.

Pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses understanding     -- Kahlil Gibran

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing it is stupid.        --- Albert Einstein

Kris Spangler, CA LMFT #40841